Tough Times

Here's an e-mail I sent to a prayer group of my church.

My manager had the meeting with the head of Human Resources yesterday. While they liked my work, they were not willing to give me a raise. I have my annual review in mid August; she told my manager, "Make sure he has a good review." (Good reviews are the only regular way to get a raise in pay here, and also nowhere near enough for us right now; nor, as we have felt, adequate compensation for what I do.)

We are in need of prayer for our hearts right now. Yesterday was pretty tough. What else came out of the meeting is what really felt like a kick in the side. We can take a no; we've done that before. But, she told my manager that he is the only manager with an Admin Coordinator. And, while they could give me a raise, "they could also take me away," i.e. eliminate my position. There is very recent precedent for this. If there is something that is bucking their system, and they have the chance to do so, they will just eliminate the position. That statement was directed at Darrell (my manager), and not myself. I just happen to be the collateral damage.

Now, this does not mean that they will be eliminating my position. But, it does mean (along with everything else I have learned about the administration of the hospital; I'm in a unique position where I know what goes on behind the scenes) that they find my position expendable. Couple this with the fact that our department recently received a recommendation (which hospital administration is not listening to but puts them on edge) to cut out 19 full time positions (we have a total of 40 full time employees), I realize that if they choose to start "saving money," why not start with the job least needed?

Anyway, I am personally not in fear of losing my job. I am dissappointed. I simply have to look for another job. The Lord is with us, and He is sovereign. A similar thing went on while we were in Bakersfield, and that's how we arrived here. Sometimes, God sends you through the down time to make you realize how He can pick you up. We sought God's will, and I believe that's what happened.